Mixed Bag of Feelings

I am just lost..

I am beginning to lose faith in everything.. Wait.. I jus lost all my faith..

FYI - The author wrote this blog overwhelmed by negative emotions.. so watch out for uncouth language and emotional outbursts.

I guess its time to be rejoicing over Obama's victory.. a black president for the US. Its quite amazing actually, from being ostracised in the society, the black community has risen and proved that they are not going to lie down and take any oppression. Its taken them 100s of years to overcome this huge obstacle.. but they have done it in style

But what about a country like India? Where south indians particulary tamilians are called 'black'. Many a times I have heard my own 'cool' 'north indian' acquaintances say - chi .. tamilians are so 'black' .. What the fuck do u mean by black?? so we are dravidians! and u are the aryans.. we still belong to the same country.. why so much of a divide?? A friend asks me earnestly, how come you south indians are so 'black'? What sort of an answer does he expect? no really! what am i supposed to say? What sort if an answer will offer him a fair enough explanation? I am not saying everyone does this.. but there are many who do this.. and it is pretty degrading..

Another comment goes like this.. 'wow.. is she tam?? she doesnt look tam.. she is so fair and pretty'! So all tams are supposed to look 'black' and 'ugly'.. is that ur point?

Moving on.. what is this obsession with weight (by weight i mean anorexic thin) and straightened hair? If everyone looked skinny as a twig, got their hair straightened and applied heavy kajal, wont everyone look the same?? Where is the scope for individuality?? My mom tell me 'ur hair is so thick and rough.. its not even straight.. so horrible no? maybe u shud get it straightened' i am like 'lady.. i am ur daughter.. save ur criticism of my 'unkept' hair and NO! i am not going to get it straightened'.

TO those of you who dont know how I look, I am not obese.. I am somewhat thin.. and normal for my height.. a friend of mine constantly tells me.. 'keep eating junk and put on weight.. cant u stop all this over eating?' After the constant criticism, I actually believed that I was overweight.. After some knocking on the head by sensible ppl, I realized I was again being pushed to become one of 'them' .. the clones.. the ones who starve to death and look like Somalian immigrants..

I see my friends being rejected by prospective grooms on the basis of complexion, height, weight.. Its depressing actually.. the girls are put on an exhibition..and the guys take their pick.. I dont even want to get started on that pathetic excuse of tradition.

Everyone wants to look attractive.. but not everyone can.. some have inherent beauty.. some have acquired beauty.. I guess we are all so carried away by the beauty thats skin deep that we fail to look at the person as they really are. In the process we tend to overlook character. Its quite shameful actually.. I realized I need to look at myself in the mirror and accept the person that stands in front of me. I am not going to look at my reflection through anyone else's eyes.. I am not what somebody else wants me to be.. I am 'me'.. Priya.. I am not perfect.. and thats the bloody truth but I am still proud of what I am irrespective of color, beauty and other superficial flaws.

Celebrate everyday for the person that you are.. you truly deserve it ..

Its been almost 2 years.. and its wonderful

P.S - The rain makes me senti.. drat!

Well.. The good news is I saw him today.. The bad news is.. he didnt look that appealing.. I didnt even recognize him for a while.. he was wearing ugly brown clothes and some nerdy glasses.. The other good thing is that he notices me.. he smiled at me today.. but i was so dissapointed with his attire, I gave him a smirk..

Drool Part 2

Yesterday I met Bin (One of my bestestest friends)
After all the shopping and gossip, we decided to take an auto back home.. After bargaining the rate and stuff we get in the auto and this guy, all sweaty and sexy.. is jogging in nungambakkam high road.. pearls of sweat are falling off his athletic body as he gracefully jogs on.. Totally curious to know if his face is as hot as his body, we were waiting for the auto to take off! but idiot autowala jus got a call on his mobile.. yapping yapping..

We were praying he doesnt turn off into any gully.. he kept galloping farther and farther away from us.. suddenly the auto wala is done with wat seemed to be a never ending call... and we urged him to follow the guy and as we slowly overtook that hot bod, we were not left disappointed.. he has this sexy stubble and rugged face.. DAMN! he was hot!! we jus sighed and hoped that the auto tire wud burst so we cud see him pass by us again.. but.. thats the last we saw of him..

I am ditching the angel faced guy with bad dressing sense for mister hot bod talk about infidelity ..

P.S - I am drooling too much these days.. is it just me or are Chennai guys (only a few though) getting too 'HOT' for me ?

And.. I saw him AGAIN!!!
Yummmyyyyyyyyyy.. he is so handsome!
I hope this becomes a routine thing

~Further Lovestruck Dalda~